I have been under the weather for a couple of weeks now. Blocked nose, queasiness. I feel like I'm coming down with a flu. Yesterday I had a temperature and I felt so weak. I feel drained. I don't know what it is really.
I don't know if it's got to do with the weather and the temperature or the lack of sunlight but lately I've been feeling the blues. Even my husband has got it I think because we had a row twice last month. I'm beginning to worry now. Husband never ever had a mood as bad as these last two. Because we are both, as he calls it - 'strong-minded', we both ended up drained. Of course I ended up crying. Why do I always have to be the one who cries? I think I should stop that.
Anyway, I hope things get better. I don't like it. It's not nice. When my husband gets really annoyed and angry and says things he doesn't mean, I can see all love going away. I don't know if you feel that but I do. In the same way that I feel when my Mum gets very angry at me. I feel all love going away. I feel only anger. I feel all the negative energy around me and inside me. And it drains me. Sometimes I feel like going to sleep after crying so hard and after getting very very upset.
I've been reading the book 'Rules of Life' by Richard Templar. Rule No 11 says 'Be the last to raise your voice'...it's got a point, good point but it's too difficult to follow. Sometimes the only way to point something out is to raise your voice or the only way for someone to listen to you is to shout. I know, I know, most of the time it gets nowhere. I think I should just keep my mouth shut if I feel like there's an impending argument. Or some grumpiness is imminent. Count to 10. I've heard this before, I should know better!
So, yes, I am having the blues. I guess husband is also having it. I hope it goes soon. It doesn't help me when I get the blues. It just makes me feel so fed up of everything...of life most of all.
My cold is going. Temperature has gone down. Hubby made me a hot pea and ham soup on Friday morning when I was ill. So I think things are getting better.
I hope the weather also gets better. I like winter but I don't think it likes me the same way?